Living a Co Dependent Life

article by Cheryl W. Martin

Co-dependency and Lack of Boundaries Contribute to Weight

Being able to set boundaries with others is pivotal to our bodies feeling safe physically and emotionally. When a person feels an invasion of their personal boundaries on a subconscious level, there is a feeling of needing grounding in order to survive. People clearly recognize an invasion through intimidation or threat; however, often people do not recognize the constant invasion of being “the responsible one”. The one to fix or handle everything whether it is a workable situation or one with total unrealistic expectation, can have serious repercussions connected to our weight and health.

 Being unable to set boundaries with others will put weight on so quickly it is unbelievable. Those professions that require solving problems will often add weight if the person involved in the profession does not have a program subconsciously of knowing that they can do so much, but they cannot do it all. If they have the idea that I “must fix it all” and “make everyone happy”, then they frequently move into weight problems. Almost all helping professionals and often their spouses have to come to a good level of boundary setting or they can suffer from weight gain. (Example: Ministers and their spouses).

However, just holding that belief subconsciously within a family system can do the same thing. If a person worries incessantly, tries to solve other’s problems for them, is in fear of what will happen if the other does not solve their problem, etc….weight will be a result. The reason for this is: Cortisol is released as a chemical from the constant stress. Adrenaline and Cortisol will assist the body with holding weight in the abdominal area. This abdominal fat surrounds the major internal organs and dangerous fat that can lead to serious illness results.

There is a true story of three monkeys tested. They were all seated where they experienced electric shock. Only one monkey had the lever to stop the shock for all of them. What happened over time was : “the responsible monkey developed hair loss and looked depressed.” When they were all killed in the study, two of the monkeys were still youthful. The overly-responsible monkey had aged severely and had the beginning of terminal illness internally and WAS FAT…because when they had food in reach and food was comfort when they were not being shocked. The other two were not interested so much in the food.

The subconscious can help:
1. Self Love Programming and the ability to be around others without feeling overly responsible.
2. Subconscious skills in setting good boundaries for self and with others and not feeling guilty about it.